My Husband Doesn’t Want Me to Go to Church. What should I do?
The problem you’re facing is one I’ve seen many times: “How do I honor the Lord and my husband at the same time?”
The BEST way to look at this issue is from a biblical perspective. What does the Bible say about your situation?
1. You need to be in fellowship
The FIRST thing to know and understand is that you need to be nourished and encouraged spiritually.
Hebrews 10:25 says: Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
This verse says that Believers are not to “give up meeting together.” That means, we need to be regular and consistent in our efforts to come together and learn everything we can about God through His Word. Notice the verse above says, “...let us encourage one another.” We all need encouragement to stay on track with the Lord. It’s an essential part of walking with Jesus on a daily basis. Without encouragement we just dry up and then eventually give up!
The Apostle Paul also wrote about our need for one another in 1 Corinthians chapter 12. I encourage you to read that chapter sometime and see how inter-connected we are in the Body of Christ.
I know your husband may not understand your need to be nourished and encouraged in the Lord and he probably even gives you trouble about coming to church. But don’t let that stop you from coming. Just calmly and lovingly explain to him that you believe attending church will make you a better wife and mother. Don’t get angry with him and don’t nag him about coming with you. Just get yourself ready on Sunday morning and go. Have a good attitude and make sure he knows that you love him. Let him see the difference walking with the Lord makes in your life.
2. Let your Life do the talking
The next really important thing to remember is that God wants the way you live to be the thing that gets your husband’s attention—not what you say!
Have you ever heard the saying “Talk is cheap.”? Well, it’s true. Anyone can talk about God. What your husband needs to see more than anything is you living for Christ.
1 Peter 3:1-2 says:
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the Word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
This passage is very important! It tells you that your unbelieving husband needs to see purity and reverence for the Lord coming from your life, and that will be the thing that is to “win him over.” Not words...but actions.
Don’t preach at your husband and don’t bug him about going to church with you. He’ll come when he’s ready and when the Lord is stirring his heart. Meanwhile, pray for him and ask the Lord to open your husband’s heart and mind. If he gets angry about the time you’re spending at church, make up your mind ahead of time not to argue. If he starts to get angry, just speak softly and lovingly to him and remind him how much you love him. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath…”
3. Meet his needs
Be sure you’re not forsaking your husband! The last thing you want your husband to think is that he’s competing for your love and attention with God! I know that some husbands will make their wife feel that going to church even once a week is too much and that he feels like he’s being deserted. If this happens, lovingly explain to him that you need to be in fellowship at least once a week. Just make sure that when you’re home with your husband, you’re giving him plenty of time and attention and making him feel special.
4. Lastly, Pray, Pray, Pray!
The need for prayer cannot be overstated. Pray often for your husband and ask the Lord to deepen your relationship with him. Pray that God would also speak to your husband’s heart. Then be patient, and allow the Lord to work in His own timing. Put your complete trust in God’s love for your husband and be sure and thank the Lord for His faithfulness.
